Ben Defines The New Gay

Post-Gay (POHST-gey) adj. When homosexuals define their identity by something other than their sexual preference.

Pomosexual (poh.moh.SEK.shoo.ul) n. A person who shuns labels such as heterosexual and homosexual that define individuals by their sexual preferences.

Alterna-queer (al-terh-nah-qwee-yur) n. A homosexual that identifies with non-mainstream culture, whether that culture is heterosexual or homosexual.

New Gay (noo-gey) n. ?????

My first impression? Too many damn definitions. Do we really need another?

The idea for “TheNewGay” took hold one Saturday afternoon while walking down 14th street. I ran into Zack and Michael on the street, and as I was leaving their company Zack mentioned an idea for a blog catering to gay people who fit a “new gay” mold. I was instantly intrigued, but curious about what he meant by "NewGay" beyond what I intuitively inferred based on what I knew of our common experiences.

I’ve always felt outside of the box, so to speak, and I’ve met many who feel the same and either unenthusiastically join the gay mainstream or reject it all together and hang out in straight crowds. Neither seemed too happy with the arrangement. It’s taken a few years to see an underground/alternative gay scene develop, but it certainly exists and grows larger as part of our community breaks free of identity politics and strives for an identity not tied to sexuality and the culture that has developed from roots in the gay ghetto.

I’ve been in DC many years, and I've often lamented the “Stepford Queer” mentality of mainstream gay culture. I’m referring, of course, to the iconic film (The Stepford Wives) from the 70s about liberated, dynamic women who move to a bedroom community that is controlled by the women’s husbands, men who literally turn their wives into robots. Like the mindless, subservient robots in the film, gay men fully assimilated into mainstream gay culture all too often become unreflective, homogenized, vapid, and simple. Clones.

It’s one thing to recognize your niche, but another to define it. As you can see from the beginning of this post, there are already a few definitions taking root in our community that seem to overlap, at least in part. Do we need another?

Freedom compels me to reject the notion of defining TNG because I would like this blog to be for anyone who chooses to define themselves, however they may choose, instead of letting the gay ghetto do it for them. Yet, philosophy tells us that a thing can’t exist if it can’t be defined, so I move forward. Moments ago I read how Michael and Zack define TNG, and we all seem to agree that gay men of conscience who practice civic responsibility and question their lives and the world around them are central to the definition. We also agree that we don’t want to live in “The Matrix” of a gay mainstream defined by superficial sensibilities, trite identity politics, banal music, cloned presentation, competitive sexual and pharmaceutical self-medication, self-hating bitchery, unreflective lives, and intellectual midgetry.

I'm not attempting to hypocritically move people to put away their tight t-shirts and stop drinking and dancing with their shirt off. We all follow stereotypes, and stereotypes in and of themselves are not a bad thing and should often be cherished, but I also count myself among those who want to expand consciousness and create more opportunities for those who want to continue a good stereotype--that gays are creators of culture that live on the ragged edge, bringing progress back to the masses.

In other words, we’re not sheep, but we can be the shepherd.

The more I think about this, I realize that TNG isn’t so much an identity as it is a movement.

So here goes:
New Gay (noo-gey) n. An umbrella movement among same-gender loving individuals who refuse to be defined by the past and strive to expand the boundaries of the future.

What do you think? No rush. You can define it however you wish. As long as you’re thinking, you’re in.