Welcome to Butt Fuck: Preemptive Action on Heterosexual Incursion

We've lost Dupont Circle.

I came to this conclusion during a recent stroll through 17th and down P street on my way to Logan Circle. I've been in DC for 7 years and even back then people were talking about how the straight people were starting to move to Dupont since the queers came in and gayed it up from one of the worst slums in the nation to one of the hottest neighborhoods in town. Back then it was considered quaint that you might see a straight couple on 17th street, and you even held your breath in a moment of thickly applied tolerance if they pushed a baby carriage. Back then you could claim that 70% of Dupont residents were gay, but I don't think anyone would believe you if you tried to make that claim today.

Despite any percievd flaws in our community, I like my gay ghetto (I use the term only in historical context, considering the cost of living there). When I see the breeders take over one of the few neighborhoods where I've ever felt in a position of power, It makes me uneasy. The gay community has a history of making neighborhoods beautiful and then being pushed and priced out due to their own efforts. It happened in Dupont and it's happening in Logan now. Where can Gays and Lesbians of all income ranges go next in an effort to create a living community? From my recent observations, that place is right here in Shaw.

Shaw is the neighborhood just East of Logan Circle, and the queers are everywhere. I moved here a few months ago and I love it. The housing is relatively cheap and the hood still has a gritty quality that allows for interesting people. BeBar is right around the corner and Halo is a short walk away. Taint happens once a month at DC-9, Nellie's gay sports bar just opened and Ed Bailey's gay superclub is apparently opening here as well, among other gay themed businesses. 930 club is also a major draw to the neighborhood, home to Bob Mould and Richard Morel's "Blowoff" party. There are many quaint little bars and restaurants on 9th street that appeal to a newgay crowd,and there is ample space to open many more.

The stage has been set, but considering how quickly this city is gentrifying, we don't have the same amount of time to create the centralizing community that we had in Dupont. I have no doubt the heterosexuals are right on our heels. Thus, we need a pre-emptive plan of action! Let the battle lines be drawn. I propose a petition to our city councilmember, Jim Graham, to change the name of Shaw to "Butt Fuck". In deference to the lesbians, we could even add a forward slash and call it "Butt Fuck/Clit Lick".

All these trendy white straight couples just love the idea of settling down in the gayborhood and making their parents uncomfortable, garnering their friends admiration due to their "edgy" and "progressive" lifestyle choices. However, there's a big difference between telling your parents you live in "gay old Dupont" than in "new gay Butt Fuck". I'd love to be a fly on the wall for that conversation.

Naturally, there will be straight people that are still determined to join the gay majority and many poor ethnic people who refuse to leave, but anyone who is undeterred by the constantly looming spectre of sodomy created by such a name change will obviously be the kind of heteros we don't mind having around.

It's just a thought.