Who You Callin' A Faggot??

Sunday night I attended Black Gay Speak's Summit on the word "Faggot", at Busboys & Poets. The evening began with a Sheldon Scott performance of his one-man show entitled "Faggot", followed by a panel discussion and audience forum.

I saw Sheldon's show during the fringe festival, and I'm happy to say that his performance has become even stronger. The piece is a work in progress, so I'll save the review for when he performs it in its final version.

The postives: the forum was well moderated, the audience was around 100 strong, and the panel had an impressive array of talent. The negatives: The panel seemed too large (only three of them were able to answer more than one question), the audience didn't have pointed questions (the panel looked a little bored at times) and not much was determined except that most of the panel thinks the word isn't very nice and shouldn't be used (the exception being AU professor Dr. Salvador Vidal-Ortiz, who gave a fantastic history of the word and was open to new ways of dealing with it).

I didn't mean to cause trouble but I was getting a little annoyed by the lack of insight, so I asked for the microphone and pointedly asked the entire panel "Do any of you think that this word can be rehabilitated? Many in the black community have rehabilitated the "N" word and now claim the word as empowering. Why can't we?"

That woke people up. I was later told (jokingly)that I was a troublemaker and that as a white man I should not have brought up a comparison between the "F" and "N" words among a predominantly black audience at an event produced by a black gay organization, but both the panel and the audience seemed to come alive at that point and real debate took place, so I don't feel bad about it. Most in the audience and on the panel were opposed to reclaiming the word for these reasons: 1) Black people haven't really reclaimed the "N" word (an assertion I don't think is supported in reality), 2) that even if you think you have reclaimed a slur, once someone uses the word against you the harmful intent and personal pain suffered is very real, and 3) it simply isn't worth the effort to rehabilitate the term.

One man in the crowd testified to the hurt that the word had caused in his life, and that if other gay men in his presence use the word he reacts sharply and turns away from them. Another young man spoke of his transgendered parent and eloquently voiced that the word is an affront to humanity. This sort of emotionalism was present in several audience members who spoke.

One gentleman, who was a friend of the man I just mentioned (sitting across the room from him at the time), rejected the dominant opinion, saying that he finds the word personally identifying and uses is proudly, and that he thinks it unfortunate that a friend would "turn away" because of a word. A young 18 year-old black woman also spoke out, saying that she and her friends often use the word "fag" and define things as "faggy", but that the word has no meaning or power over them. She said she doesn't understand why people load the word with so much unnecessary meaning. Alexander Robinson of the National Black Justice Coalition, who was one of the panelists, remarked that it is wise to consider that with the rise of a new generation of gay people who are socialized anew, we may indeed need to reconsider how we view the word.

Personally, I respect the opinion of so many who have been hurt by the word and want to see it buried and publicly shamed, but I'm also distrustful of hyper emotionalism. Who is to say that this isn't a personal psychological problem? Instead of condemning the word and the people that choose to reclaim it as edifying or render it meaningless and redefined, can't people who are wounded by their own history and current relationship with the word just go into therapy and get over it?

There are many gay men who have been crucified on this word, but the transformation that took place due to their struggle has not made them victims, it has allowed them to reclaim that word as their own. Personally, like most black people with their reclaimed slur, I think the word "faggot" can only be used by other gay people, but when some shithead does call me a faggot, I don't let it bother me because I've already reclaimed ownership of that word and because I know my own worth. I am able to see that offender not as someone who has the power to wound me, but as a pathetic imprisoned by their own smallness and stupidity. They are beneath me. In the past I have responded with quizzical statements like "Yeah? What's your point?", which usually leaves the ignorant stunned and confused. I couldn't wield that kind of power if I adhered to victim mentality.

I feel that this debate is far from finished, and I hope that BlackGaySpeak, anchored by the impressive intellectual weight of their membership, continues to explore this issue and determine solutions. For more information on blackgayspeak and the great work that they do, please view their website.