Gays Who Like Girls?

Who would you switch teams for? I don't mean in a confusing, sexuality-questioning, "I thought for sure I was a homo but this boy/girl is pushing my buttons way," but just a person of the opposite sex who you find aesthetically pleasing enough to say "wow, I would totally hit on you if we had compatible genitalia."

Last night, I went to see Thao and The Get Down Stay Down play at the Black Cat Backstage. I've liked their CD for a while now, and the live show did not dissapoint. Aside from the awesome music, it was also a chance to take in frontwoman Thao Nguyen's (pictured) cute between-song banter and even cuter girl-from-the-record-store looks. The combination of those two factors made her nearly as lovable as Neko Case, and by the end of the show both myself and my straight, female roommate were nursing crushes. Does this make me some kind of imposter gay?

This week's "Queer" post showed that sexuality can be a very fluid thing. Mine, however, is not. I went through a brief but regrettable "bi now, gay later" stage that basically consisted of me fingering a lot of girls and having so horrifying a hetero-deflowering that my love of dick blossomed fully to the surface, never to be buried again (except, of course, when it's buried juuust right. No, to the left. Slower. Ok, there we go.)

But anyway — from time to time, I will meet girls so pretty that they make me nervous. Michael has previously confessed that he wanted Peaches to fuck him, and I understand the sentiment. While I know I would never be able to get myself into a sexual situation with a girl, I know there are some women out there who appeal to my personal aesthetic so completely that it almost feels like a crush.

Could it just be the innate human attraction to beauty that sparks this reaction in me? Is it the vestigial remnants of my closet days, where I spent so much time professing fake lust for girls (to save face in front of guys) that some of it stuck? A small part of me thinks that moments like these are nods to my feminine side, where I've found the exact type of girl I'd want to be if I had to be a girl. Pretty, confident, good singing voice...but good god, that is a sentiment better saved for a muuuuch longer post.

But here's my question: I bristle when supposedly straight people play gay long enough to, say, make out with their sorority sister at a party, get some attention and then go home with their boyfriends. I'm all for experimentation, but not exploiting the gay identity for an hour to look edgy. Is that what I'm doing when I talk about my girl crushes? I can't tell if I'm just pointing out the obvious fact that girls are pretty, or doing lasting damage to the movement.

Also, more importantly, who would you switch teams for? Beyonce? Jonathon Schaech? That girl/guy you see on the train every morning? I feel like everyone has someone. Let me know, or at least let me know that I'm not alone on this.