Get The Hook

I love looking at guys' dicks. Dick spotting (and its cousin, dick flaunting) is the only reason I use the group showers at my gym. Hell, it's sometimes the only reason I work out in the first place. Dicks are fun for their sexual connotations, but also for their unending variety in shape, color, size and weight. Looking around a locker room, you can spot (as the song goes,) "long one's, tall ones, short ones, brown ones, black ones, round ones, big ones, [and] crazy ones." Last week I saw a dick that looked like a potato. I haven't eaten fries since.

But if there's one thing more fun than looking at dicks, its looking at boners. Luckily, I attend a primarily gay gym so public boners are in no short supply. In observing a shower penis' entire life cycle of rigidity, from tiny little shrinkage victim to full out broadsword, you can see some striking differences emerge. Your run-of-the-mill windsock can transform in seconds to a whole topographer's map of moles, veins, birthmarks and exotic foreskins.

But some dick abnormalities are actually undiagnosed penile diseases. Tune in below the fold for more info on this, uh, sensitive subject.

Among the most striking of "emerging" features is probably the pronounced curve. We've all experienced (possibly on ourselves) a dick that starts out on the straight and narrow (or straight and thick) and ends up decidedly more loopy. They can be really fun. But did you know that there's a medical term for this? For that matter, did the guy I dated in college nicknamed "Capt'n Hook" know I called him that?

Some curved dicks are just made that way, but others are the result of a condition called "Peyronie's." Sometimes caused by trauma to the penis (like when you pull out too far and thrust into someone's hip, causing your junk to snap) Peyronie's is caused by the formation of scar tissue under the skin of the penis that can lead to curvature and a painful erection.

Since patients and doctors alike are often unaware that this condition exists, Mens Health PD, a website offering information and help to those with Peyronie's, will be hosting a live chat with Dr. Culley Carson at 7 p.m. on the subject of early stage Peyronies treatment.

Thanks to TNG reader Taryn Snider for the tip.