Pride?
Pride season is nearly upon us. DC's Youth Pride Day is this coming Saturday, May 3rd at P St. Beach. DC's Black Pride celebration is over Memorial Day weekend (May 21 to May 26). And Capital Pride is in early June. But what is the point of a pride weekend, anyway? Why should I care? As someone who's never found comfort in the offerings of traditional gay culture, I hesitate to take pride in that culture. And I rarely feel proud or a sense of community while watching a parade full of floats loaded with leather men or drag queens. Or bank employees wearing matching polo shirts embroidered with corporate logos.
And my experiences with the street fair are equally disappointing: Why would anyone want to wander around the hot asphalt of Pennsylvania Ave downtown and expose themselves to non-stop marketing by every corporation that has realized that gays have more expendable income than most other Americans. How inspiring is that?
But there is an aspect of gay culture that I am proud of. It's called The New Gay. Now, I'm not just patting myself on the back here. I'm proud of all the queer people who have helped make TNG so great, through contributions, comments, and attendance at our parties. TNG stands for individuality, creativity and diversity, and it's success has shown me that those things are alive and well in DC's queer community. And THAT is something that I'm proud of.
So, I've finally after all this time found an aspect of queer culture that I can take pride in. What now? When and how does the TNG community get to publicly express the pride for this nascent community we are nurturing? And why is it important?
Here are some ideas I've thought about for participating in DC pride events.
- Having a table at the street fair at Capital Pride, where we pass out flyers and cards that describe the mission of TNG to passers by.
- Creating TNG t-shirts, getting a group of TNGers to wear them to the parade and street fair, passing out business cards to anyone who will take them.
- Assembling a group of TNG readers, contributors and their friends and lovers and marching in the Capital Pride parade under a big gray-scale rainbow flag.
- Working with the TNG crew to throw a TNG Pride Party or even a TNG Gay Shame Party (tongue in cheek, of course) over the Capital Pride weekend, to give DC's queers an alternative to the same-old-same-old pride party.
So, what am I doing for pride this year? I'm not sure yet. Do you have any thoughts how TNG should represent at pride this year? Has TNG helped you feel a little more proud of yourself and your community?
Harvey Fierstein on Pride. Thanks, smergio.
26 Comments:
Michael,
I think that this is a stellar idea.
One great thing about pride though - it really is a support for youth and those who live in rural areas who come into the city for it.
I share many of your feelings though. However, the street fair does have one great activity: I love to go down and stand on the edge and follow fanny-pack families who walk into it exclaiming "Oh look, a street fair!" When they eventually realize where they are, watching their expression is always a blast.
actually, pride has always made me very happy and is one of the most diverse events i can think of (and by diverse i mean along class/ideology/gender lines, not whether or not someone expends energy in claiming they're more free thinking than everyone else). i enjoy the diversity of the community, from pflag moms to drag queens and leather daddies to corporate homo drones.
this post and the judgement implied made me feel very shameful. if TNG wants to be part of pride, it should. if it doesn't, it should find something a little more evil to judge from the outside.
Pride is like Christmas, it really is just for the kids. I will always remember my first DC Pride when I was just out of the closet as a moment of great joy and affirmation, and the ones I went to with my GLBT college group were a blast too.
And then you get older, and you need the affirmation a bit less and less, and the you missed it one year and it's like 'Ooops, oh well.'
But Pride parades do have a purpose. They pull the community together, silly and divided as we may be, it's our holiday, and like the toast 'Next year in Jerusalem!' it brings hope to those of us who are not lucky enough to be able to be out and proud.
Prob options A and B would get you the more name recognition, C works if you have enough people willing to walk that long, and D depends on how many other parties would going on that weekend. Taint? Blowoff? An embarrassment of wealth, indeed.
I agree with the anonymous post above - this is an unfortunate posting on a blog that (I think) counts diversity of expression among its ideals. You may not identify with leather-bound men or drag queens, Michael, but many gays do. For some of us, that has less to do with wanting to be like them and more to do with conquering our internalized homophobia and embracing differences. Doesn't "TNG" just substitute one label for another - be it twink, drag queen, leather daddy, etc.?
First off, you really should capitalize on promoting TNG at Pride anyway so any of those options would be wise.
If anything you should walk around handing out a combo of business cards and a flyer for your TNG party you'll be having, while walking in the parade as well as getting TNG party in the pride events lists.
If the corporate asses can capitalize on pride, well then its safe to say that something as awesome (and non-assy) as TNG could do the same and do it much better.
I love Pride, but I love anything where I can catch beads from people on floats. Pride should definitely have more things to do because many times after the parade my friends and I are left there on the street wondering if there is anything else to do, which honestly, there usually isn't.
So throw a party, throw a parade watching group if TNG isn't going to be in it. Really put TNG out there and provide some really cool, interesting community events (everything doesn't have to start later than 10 pm) where the standard reader or random person at pride would want to go actually meet people and party.
Anonymous, I'm sorry if that post made you feel shameful. Why exactly is that? The pride you take from the event and the consternation that Michael feels are not mutually exclusive. Both of your feelings are valid.
Pride is an event that can mean many different things to many different people, often at the same time. I feel very conflicted about it. I went last year, and marched shirtless, and generally felt happier about being gay than I had in a long time. I saw four year-old girls holding banners that read "I love my mommies" and realized how far we've come and how much we have to celebrate. And the drag queens and leather daddies and drones prove time and again that our community includes such a dazzling array of individuals.
Yet- why does every gay event have to be some fabulous party? So many of us find the aggressive glitter of gay culture to be a barrier rather than a welcome point. Many aspects of pride suggest that a gay person's worth comes not from their intellect or temperment but from how much plumage they can display in public. Gay Pride often just seems to be a mobile dance club. People drinking in the streets! Booming music! Outrageous costumes! If this was different from the normal spaces that gay people had to gather, it might truly be an exciting event. Instead, it can just encourage us, as a culture, to simultanously display the best and worst behavior we have to offer. In that way, it proves that gays are human, just like everybody else. But couldn't we find some outward ways to celebrate the quotidian aspects of gay life alongside the all the showmanship?
I once attended a lecture by Judy Shephard, mother of Matthew, where she bemoaned a certain aspect of Pride. She pointed out that the newsvans and reporters showed up at the front of the parade, for the grand marshalls and dancing drag queens, but didn't stick around for end of the parade where the everyday folks were. Somewhere between the spectacle and the marketing exists the actual gay experience, and THAT is what I wish pride could reflect.
You guys should totally throw a TNG Pride Party, preferably at a place larger than Solly's to accomodate the crowd.
I always actually enjoy the pride parade itself because it really does offer a glimpse into just how large and diverse the gay community is in the DC area. However, it's always the night of pride that is bunk. The thought of going to Town, Cobalt, Apex or some other tacky bar with all the shirtless queens makes me want to stay as far away from those places as possible.
A TNG Pride Party would certainly be appreciated, though I have to admit publicizing it too much might inadvertently make it bigger, more crowded and bring in more "mainstream" gays than anticipated...not that there's anything wrong with that, but it would just kind of go against the entire point of having a party, right?
How about having a TNG t-shirt design contest that's then voted on by the community? We can print that shit up, sell it at the parade, and donate the proceeds (after paying basic server fees for the year) to a gay youth runaway shelter.
Just a thought...
I like Pride, for a couple of hours. It's great to see such a large group of gay people together. After that it gets a little lame, for many of the reasons mentioned by Michael. I don't want to be sold anything or listen to whatever diva they managed to book this year on the main stage.
i used to feel similarly about pride. that is until i watched harvey fierstein do a monologue on pride on the show "in the life" and made me feel like a huge ass.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0_OQeA3GiRw
Thanks Smergio. I embedded that video above.
Socrates: I'm just saying it's not inspiring to me.
me: i dont know....
Socrates: I'm saying I want more.
me: no you are also saying that it shouldnt be inspiring to other
and that others should want more
Socrates: I'm asking people to question their inspiration
me: fair enough
Socrates: people who take that as a threat obviously haven't thought about it.
and are just along for the ride w/o thinking about things
TNG is all about questioning the status quo
me: we have been handed a culture based on a couple generations of men who live in close urban quarters trying to escape from mainstream
i guess I just don't think the baby can be tossed out with the bathwater
Socrates: I'm not tossing anything out. I'm suggesting that maybe the baby has grown up and wants to take a fucking shower!!!
me: OK
I understand what you are getting at
Socrates: make sense. just asking for options where I can celebrate pride doing things that don't make me feel shameful
me: what makes you feel shameful
the corporate part...that is a relatively recent addition
Socrates: the corporate part, the sexualization of it all
me: well it is about sex
Socrates: the dumb cawing drunk boy douchebags celebrating but not knowing why or what.
no, it's about acceptance
me: acceptance of sex
even 10 years ago, if you are going to be ostracized and ridiculed over who you want to have sex with
then you are sure as shit going to have a lot of it
and try to break the the rules of the sexual culture that is doing the ridiculing and ostracization
Socrates: well, if you know why pride is important, post it as a comment to my post
me: I guess I look at it as more of an acknowledgments of our roots rather than as an expression of our future. think of it as 4th of july fireworks for gays
Socrates: sure, that's fine.
while michael and zack are good friends of mine and i agree with them in most cases, i must say i tend to agree more with thos criticizing this post. i will not say i "love" pride but it means a lot to a lot of people and i have always had fun on pride weekend. i don't know what it does to further acceptance among the community at large but it is what it is. i'm all for TNG doing something for pride (although i think attacking the rainbow flag by having a grey flag would be suprememely offensive to many people), i hope it is something positive and not something that attacks pride-lovers no matter how they dress, what they listen to, etc. i'll pitch in in any way i can . . .
fabulous party...People drinking in the streets! Booming music! Outrageous costumes! shit zack, with a comment laying out the problems you have with pride, you've left me totally excited for pride.
(but you won't convince me to wear one of those t-shirts)
Definitely not wearing the t-shirt.
i don't plan on wearing the t-shirt, but only because i've had a good gym year and plan on making this my summer of random shirtlessness.
Wow, lots of good thoughts here.
I'm more disturbed by the "corporatization" of Pride than anything else, mostly because it just smacks of the worst of capitalist creepiness.
However, I think the drag queens, leather men, Dykes on Bikes, etc., standing next to A&F types and lipstick lesbians cradling their children provide one beautiful option for what culture can be.
As to Zack's question about why gay events always have to be some fabulous party: I sometimes suspect and believe that people are desparate for beauty, pleasure and ecstasy (non-tablet kind, thank you), and queer folks, possibly because of the barrier-breaking nature of an out existence, feel more free to tap into unbridled and, yes, sometimes orgiastic delight. I do, agree, Zack, that there should be room for the glam hoo-hah, the quiet jazz night and a garden dinner party among friends. Variety is a good thing.
I think it would be fantastic for TNG to have some kind of presence at Pride. If the intent is to spread the word a little more, I think the festival is probably a better bet. People already have those bags full of all-things gay and they can just add another flyer, postcard, whatever to the glittering heap.
I love the parade; it's always been an awesome and very unifying thing for me. Like other commenters, no matter what I think other times of the year, during Pride (especially the parade) I feel like I'm part of one great big family celebrating together. The very last thing I want during that time is an agenda, or to be reminded of the divisions that are (at least temporarily) healed in that weekend.
On the other hand, the festival, coming on the heels of that awesome togethery-goodness feeling (and my hangover), always comes as a huge let-down. That's where I feel everything you said above: it's coorporate, encased in sweltering concrete, and feels kind of like a work conference you're obligated to go to and pretend to enjoy.
I would love to see TNG offer an alternative option to the festival. I probably wouldn't show up for anything during the parade or Saturday evening, since those spaces are already filled with things I love doing. But the festival is one area where Pride could really use a new perspective.
OMG, I want to attend a gay shame party on pride weekend. That's funny as hell. It reminds me of a favorite Onion article. http://www.theonion.com/content/news/small_town_holds_annual_gay_shame
I think a table with information about TNG is a great idea. As someone who recently stumbled across TNG and am thrilled to know that such a thing exists, I think it would be wonderful to spread the word to as many others as possible.
has anyone considered joining the capital pride planning committee and working to expand the voice of "outsiders" at the source?
My issue with pride parades is that the meaning is lost in translation in the eyes of the general public. Instead of seeing people proud of their identity, they see an inappropriate circus act. If the parade was more "family friendly," more people would feel comfortable bringing their children. Imagine the impact on homophobia if more children were exposed to a positive view of homosexuality at young age.
I think it is appropriate for TNG to be at Pride, but don't expect to see me there...I don't have a problem with Pride, it's just that I no longer enjoy it, but I think it's an excellent event for those who do!
This post provides fodder to my suspicion that, despite my initial impression, I really don't "belong" to the TNG crowd. I don't like the gay pride parades but not because of the leather men or the dykes on bikes but because it's a celebration that has lost its meaning - back in the early 1970's it served as a political rally, a call to unite and take action on issues. Come to think of it, isn't TNG similar in that other than Ben's posts there's nothing political about it? Again, good effort but Taint and events at the BlackCat a community do not make. Sorry guys but I don't think I'll continue to read your blog
Often, one finds what they look for. If you can find nothing to be proud of or inspired by in the mainstream gay culture, it rather denotes a lack of effort (or capacity) on your part. Everywhere in the gay community, from the comfortable niche you inhabit to the most outrageous extremes, those same treasured values of individuality, creativity, and diversity are in rich abundance (you by no means engendered them here at TNG). Hopefully, while manning your booth, you will try to find what you love about TNG represented in other factions of gay DC. Because from the post it sounded more like you will just be condescendingly lauding TNG as a bastion in what you’ve decided is a cultural wasteland of DC gayness, which is just really annoying.
"I once attended a lecture by Judy Shephard, mother of Matthew, where she bemoaned a certain aspect of Pride. She pointed out that the newsvans and reporters showed up at the front of the parade, for the grand marshalls and dancing drag queens, but didn't stick around for end of the parade where the everyday folks were. Somewhere between the spectacle and the marketing exists the actual gay experience, and THAT is what I wish pride could reflect."
The fact is, pride does reflect that -- most of the people in the parade are there with their sports teams and churches, or are marching with their kids or their parents. It's hard to blame the organizers for the fact that the media focuses on the most dramatic stuff (drag queens and naked folk).
I think pride events are important in two ways. First, they remind the world that there are all kinds of queer people living among them -- and especially in smaller cities, that's hugely important. Second, they remind us about the diversity of our own community. Especially if you're young and your primary relationship to gay life is bars and sex, seeing that there's room for you to also be a soccer player or a quaker or a classic car enthusiast can help you figure out that there's room in this world to be who you want to be and not just who people tell you to be.
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