Exciting News From the de Generes Couple

The bedside wall of my first dorm room in college was a perfect reflection of a sexuality that I didn’t yet understand, and therefore, had never taken seriously. At the lowest level, I had shirtless pictures of AC Slater, Zack Morris, and Justin Timberlake strategically arranged to look like they were posing together. Sprinkled above the stud-zone, I had some pictures of old high school friends – one of which was the prom picture that shows me and my best gal friend going as a (non-sexual) couple. Finally, the peak of the picture pyramid was a picture of one of the few people in the world I would go so far as to call hysterical (which for me is perhaps the highest compliment I could think to offer a person): Ellen. Today, especially today, Ellen still holds a top place in my heart.

Given the sheer number of HBO specials I’ve watched, the books I’ve read, and the old episodes of the original sitcoms that I’ve recorded from Oxygen, Ellen is practically family to me at this point. Converting people to become hardcore Ellen fans is my equivalent to promoting gay rights. I think she is a great gay model. Over the past few years, many gays have shunned her and bad-mouthed her for how mute she became on gay related issues; yet, to these arguments, I simply say, “Talk to the hand, cuz this gay ain’t listenin.” I have always thought that the best way to make the masses understand and accept gay people is to make them love the gays, and then ask them, “So how can you love us and think we’re horrible sinners at the same time?” I think leaving them to ponder this question makes way more of an impact than waving a rainbow flag in their face ever could.


Furthermore, now that Ellen has a collection of Emmy’s that probably rivals her collection of strange neck-bows, she has become way more open on her talk show about gay issues. It was from Ellen that I learned about the whole Grey’s Anatomy fiasco last year; the murder of Lawrence King earlier this year; and the crazy Republican congresswoman, Sally Kern, who did some hardcore behind closed doors gay-bashing. Hearing Ellen announce on TV, in the wake of the youth murder, that gays – that she – is not a second-class citizen, almost brought me to tears. Similarly, hearing Ellen mock Kern via a phone call to her office and the laughter from her studio-audience that followed, made me realize just how much power Ellen has to make people forget any biases they might have in favor of seeing the absurdity in those of others.

Anyway, yesterday, the day California overturned its ban on gay marriage, Ellen announced that she and Portia de Rossi are going to get married. This makes me happy for so many reasons, but mostly, I love the social side effects it could have. Now, if California reinstates the ban, masses of middle-aged women, women who love Ellen and all the things she does, will have reason to be angry at the California court system. Now, if Ellen ever has to go on TV and cry, not because a dog was taken away, but because California has decided to take away her impending marriage, there will be a whole new cohort of angry supporters. I’ve always believed that civil rights cannot be won when the oppressed are the only ones fighting for them, and I do believe Ellen has just taken us one step closer to roping the straights in.