Jordan Knight Made Me Gay
It's a slippery slope from point A to B.Please be warned, nothing of substance will spring forth from the following post. I could talk about how the President of Gambia issued a 24-hour eviction notice to his nation’s homosexuals (and criminals, because you know, what’s the difference?), or get deep about the contents of my most recent Amazon purchase (two self help books and a cat deshedder). But really, all I can do is muster some nostalgia for a young Jordan Knight’s once long-flowing rat tail, and contemplate the NKOTB reunion as it relates to my formative queerness.
My friends and I divided the NKOTB boys among ourselves, falling in step with the girl world diplomacy of who we actually thought we had a shot at, each of us politely abstaining from competition. With his full lips, hoop earrings, propensity for wearing overalls sans shirt, and Joan Baez-worthy braided rat tail, Jordan seemed the obvious choice for me. This is completely anecdotal, but I have a theory that it may have actually been impossible for girls who liked Danny to turn up queer. I mean, he does have a sort of Stone Butch Blues vibe happening, but yikes he is apish.
For me, boy bands are sort of this flashpoint for dyke identity. At age 13, New Kids were my last big, public attempt to hop on the straight girl bandwagon and declare myself to hysterical boy love. It was also when I started to realize that, far from wanting to be these boys’ girlfriend; I wanted to be these boys. I wanted to rock a mustard-colored trench coat, shave lines into the sides of my head, and have millions of girls clawing my penny loafers. It was all about wanting to access an easy boyish aesthetic, a proven formula of cool that gets ladies. I’ll be loving you (forever), Jordan Knight.
My friends and I divided the NKOTB boys among ourselves, falling in step with the girl world diplomacy of who we actually thought we had a shot at, each of us politely abstaining from competition. With his full lips, hoop earrings, propensity for wearing overalls sans shirt, and Joan Baez-worthy braided rat tail, Jordan seemed the obvious choice for me. This is completely anecdotal, but I have a theory that it may have actually been impossible for girls who liked Danny to turn up queer. I mean, he does have a sort of Stone Butch Blues vibe happening, but yikes he is apish.
For me, boy bands are sort of this flashpoint for dyke identity. At age 13, New Kids were my last big, public attempt to hop on the straight girl bandwagon and declare myself to hysterical boy love. It was also when I started to realize that, far from wanting to be these boys’ girlfriend; I wanted to be these boys. I wanted to rock a mustard-colored trench coat, shave lines into the sides of my head, and have millions of girls clawing my penny loafers. It was all about wanting to access an easy boyish aesthetic, a proven formula of cool that gets ladies. I’ll be loving you (forever), Jordan Knight.
8 Comments:
A slippery slope indeed. The resemblance is uncanny.
RT
of course danny was my favourite. he was the most muscle bound, and therefore the stupidest, and therefore the most easily manipulated. everyone always made fun of me for liking danny. the only acceptable new kid for a boy to like was donny because he was the dangerous one. and even that was pretty suspect (for obvious reasons). i'm actually listening to the right stuff as i write this.
Not funny!
i remember being really confused by my peers' regimented fawning over nkotb. hair metal drag was way more appealing! and poison never insulted me by promising to be loving me 4ever.
justin timberlake = D style star for our times.
Wait. There were girls who liked Danny?
I loved this post more than you could possibly understand, because sometimes I feel like I'm the only lesbian NKOTB fan in the world! While none of them "made me gay" (lol), those crushes certainly were a nice side road to take on the way to where my tastes lie now. My love of their music never died at all, so I'll be there on the reunion tour rocking out for one amazing night. Love the Jordan Knight/k.d. lang comparison pic up there--the caption is hilarious. Thanks for writing that, I enjoyed it.
Sallypants...LOL I totally agree.
so...NKOTB was my first concert at 11, and yes i was in love with jordan (so much so that i was angry with the other girls at the show wearing the same shirt and giant button i had)...perhaps it was the tail, perhaps it was one pound of joey's sperm in his stomach, or, perhaps it was that he had the sound and softness of a woman. i'll be lovin him forever...oh yeah, except for his disgusto stint on the surreal life...
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