Movin' On Up

This post was submitted by Allison, who watches too much Bravo and is addicted to gmail.


Oprah is the Queen of disseminating information around the Globe. What's that? You wrote a book about constipation? Send those informative pages to Oprah and -- if she likes it -- she will turn your clogged poop into 24k gold.

Of course, it's no surprise that Oprah's recent pick, Eckhart Tolle's "A New Earth" has gotten a nipple hardening reaction from Oprah viewers. At first, this book seems like the quasi philosophical-"how can I get a spiritual sense of being and lose 20lbs"-self help book. But apparently "A New Earth" (as well as Tolle's past writings) is all about being a truly free, emotionally evolved person-about freeing yourself from confining labels and relishing in self awakening. And who, according to Tolle, are some of the most prepared for this spiritual advancement? Homosexuals! Omg!

Apparently, to begin spiritual awakening, you have to have suffered emotional pain and struggled with identity. Through this pain we discover that we are not made up of what we think, what we believe or what we judge. We are then able to separate the mind's judgments from our own identity, and subsequently reconnect with the body and spirit. HOLY MOLY! I can't wait to be "free."

Tolle describes humans as a funnel of emotion, spirit and intellect. Nothing truly defines a person -especially since we evolve everyday of our lives. Societal limitations, like labels, grudges, racism, sexism, capitalism, ruin allllll this healthy funneling and enlightenment (For example, instead of saying "he is gay" one should think "He enjoys having sex with men. And that's just the way it is." ). Gays (of all sexes) are closer to breaking past these limitations because society already forces us to re-identify ourselves. By acting against learned behaviors of society, gay men and women let their body 'funnel' natural emotions, desires, and a true sense of being. This separation of belief and feeling makes us homos much closer to bursting out like a fucking caterpillar with wings. I'm glad Tolle decided to elaborate on the label of homosexuality, since the term is often associated with larger labels of identity-race, gender, religion.

Of course, there is a catch. Although gays may be more prepared to 'move on up to the spiritual-upper east-side,' we are also just as vulnerable to find comfort in the gay, lesbian, bi, transgender identities; to fall back into different conformities and limitations. Doing this makes us live a clouded life, devoid of true happiness; we might as well crawl into a big gay rainbow hole and lay in the fetal position.

Well, I guess, Thank you Tolle for elaborating on such logic. But am I supposed to just chill out until my "spiritually inferior" peers catch up to this way of thinking? Freeing myself from labels does feel empowering, but then again, the Oprah show is making "A New Earth" seem like a glorified self help seminar. Is the journey to enlightenment inherently...selfish?

Damn, I have a migraine.


Things I plan to do to become a more spiritual being:

1. Watch less Bravo TV

2. Get over lingering grudge from 8th grade (Chris Myers said my thighs were "bulgy")

3. Not check g-mail more than 49 times a day

4. Look at myself only in window reflections, not actual mirrors

5. Volunteer more than twice a year.


............Well, it's a start.